Currently Playing The Phantom of the Opera (Original 1986 London Cast) By Andrew Lloyd Webber, Michael Reed, Rosemary Ashe, Sarah Brightman, Michael Crawford, John Savident Think of Me see related

prepare yourself. this is going to be a looongg entry.

ohh!! tomorrow is my 500th day of xanga. how exciting!

Lent started!! yaayyy! i love lent. and its been going great so far.. had a fantastic conversation about it at lunch, and im closer to God than ever :) i guess thats what Lents all about.

my fish is dying and uncle sam died. please pray for him. it was his time, so i dont think anyone was very surprized. ill still miss him. my daddys at his funeral right this very second in Illinois. please pray for a safe return home. i miss him terribly :( somebody tell me that hes in a better place now. i need to hear it. :(

my mom and i just ate a TON of fudge. lol, she rocks. today she said, "with their makeup on they look like hookers." in front of some of my friends. their jaws dropped. lol, my mom is soo cool. shes not nearly as up tight as a lot of moms.

now onto whats really on my mind..  (this smilie needs some tears.)

guard competition tomorrow. practice yesterday. man, lets just say yesterdays practice ruined my day/weekend and could ruin the rest of the guard's too. heres what happened: the tarp crew came and tried to fold and unfold the tarp- lol, it was so funny! watching them struggle made me feel like a pro :), we worked on the exchange toss- thank God. im so bad at the toss. and got called out four times. time number 1: joey making fun of me because im so bad at the exchange toss. number 2: same thing.. lol im soo awful!! time number 3: joey complimenting my jazz run :) time number 4: alicia asking me to do the pirouette/double-stag for the rest of the dancers. i think she likes me- which is nice- i like her too. yay for that. oh yeahh, and after guard- my momma gave all of us chocolate.

sounds pretty good, huh? so why is it ruining my life?

well, joey was working with the rifle line so i was just sitting down in the butterfly so it looked like i was stretching, even though i was talking to Mallo more than anything, lol. i didnt realize we would be learning more dance work about half an hour later. so we started with the dance work- i was a little stiff, but i didnt think much of it, so i kept working through it. about 15 minutes later, however, my right leg litterally started to twitch. it didnt hurt or anything, it was just weird. i got home a couple hours later and felt stiff, but i had so much hw i only stretched for 10minutes or so.

 this morning i woke up and my right leg started to hurt some. i took pain reliever; went to school- no big deal. but after 3rd hour i asked ellen if i was walking funny, i felt like i was limping, she said it wasnt so i ignored my leg once again. by the end of the day, my leg was unbareable. i went with shelby to a sports trainer, promising myself i would take pain reliever whenever once i got home. but on the way back, i was stepping over something with my left foot and landing on my right- not a good idea. i didnt really make a huge deal out of it, but it HURT LIKE HELL. once i got home and went up the stairs it got worse. much worse. so i just layed on the futon instead of practicing with shelby and then going to the mall with chelssy (so much for our party weekend ). went down the stairs for dinner, and it hurt even worse.. if thats possible. so my mom and i started to talk about it during dinner...

so she was telling me how if my leg hurts as much as it does now, i shouldnt reherse with the guard before the competition. that made me soo sad. more than anything, i wanted to practice. this was waay more than devestating. but then i decided to ask, "what if it hurts right before the competition.." my mom told my theres a possibility that i wont perform. so, obviously, i started thinking of how i could say it miraculously healed in a matter of seconds. but my mom said,

"dont lie about your leg- dont tell me it feels fine when it doesnt."

how she did it, i have no idea, but she definately read my mind. the end.

chances are, hardly any of you actually read that whole thing. so if you didnt.. heres a summary.. i let my muscles get cold. i danced. i pulled a muscle. i ignored it. i walked. i hurt. i ignored more. i hurt more.  i couldnt/cant walk. guard competition tomorrow, but i could be watching from the sidelines. and it was all my fault. this sucks. the end.

im so sad/mad/confused/stressed out/pissed/scared that im gonna go sleep.

wish me luck. wish the guard luck. Lord, please, help me heal.